Why?

View Quoted Comment Congratulations on the baby! I agree, it's better to have a baby after being married.

View Quoted Comment Oh wow! That is indeed an eye opener. That was brave of you to share 💓

View Quoted Comment Okay those are some great reasons. I don't plan on taking my husband's last name. I've always gone against the norm with society. I've also told FH that if we ever had a child before marriage, then she/he would have my last name.

View Quoted Comment Yes! Marriage changes everything legally.

View Quoted Comment Oh that's s huge place eso if anything happens to us just even the right to make decisions if needed.

I'm sure our main reason will be different to most, but as an international long distance couple, we are marrying so we can live together. If we lived in the same country, we would be cohabiting by now. Neither of us have any sought after qualifications, so moving for work wouldn't be feasible.
That aside, we both want to be as connected to one another as possible. We don't feel right when we're forced to be apart, and we understand each other instinctively and love each other fiercely. Both of our worlds changed for the better when we met and we can't imagine our lives apart. We didn't know what being in love meant before now, so that is why we're getting married.

I honestly feel the opposite - if you're going to be together already anyway then why not just seal the deal with the marriage? i also view marriage as a sign of true commitment. i think it's fine not to get married though, there's plenty of couples who build a life together. but for me personally i just felt like if you are fine with that then why not just marry anyway

View Quoted Comment Hi Melle, whoch comment are you replying to about feeling the opposite?

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I was always against completely changing my name because I'm my father's only biological daughter BUT I adore my FH and my sons want me to share their last name. I also like the idea of changing my name to match my new "identity" so to speak. I got engaged at 30 so for me, its like becoming a new person than who I was in my 20s. My older son that I had before I met my FH almost had my last name but I didn't want him to carry on my dad's name since it wasn't his dad so I was also against that. I don't consider myself a follower of the norm in society but I base my decisions on how I feel and if it happens to align, so be it. I just try to do what's best for me.

View Quoted Comment Okay cool. As long as you're happy with your decision.


I've lived overseas twice (S. America & Asia) and about 67% of the world, the women doesn't change their last names. I also work in HR and it causes so many issues when a name change occurs. I also disagree with the origins of why Americans do that. In the past, wives were literally their husband's property. I adore my FH as well and I think I show him that through my actions, not my name change. According to statistics, 70% of American women change their last name, so that's what I was referring to about going against the grain. I don't have any children. I have a bachelor's and master's degree. My mom has her PhD, and her institution told her it would cost $1500 to change her name on her degree if she changed it after marriage.Overall, I understand that it's Different strokes for different folks.

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Yes, you've expressed how you feel about it before and the statistics of women who don't do it. I understand that. To each her own. I love that we all navigate our journeys for our own personal reasons. I think it makes us better people and partners when we are true to ourselves despite getting married. It is beautiful.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for your positivity. I unfairly prejudged you and assumed you frowned upon me. Many American women have told me they thought poorly of my choice to keep my last name.

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Hey, its no problem. Excuse my french, but eff them lol. You owe no one an explanation for your choice to keep your name. Marriage is an extension of us, not a recreation. We Americans are way too entitled to think we can control how others live. I fully support the right and option to choose who and what you want to be identified by. You sound like a boss wife to me!

Great question. I have several friends in committed relationships with no plans to marry. They have taken precautions such as making sure both names are on property, etc. I am admittedly not well-versed in the legal benefits of marriage, but I do know that they exist, and the difference between my friends and I is that my husband and I want children. Maybe it's old-fashioned, but both of us came from a married couple and I guess we hope for the same for our children. Also I don't hate diamonds and wedding dresses, truth be told.

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Omg! The statistics on married parents vs co-habitating parents were crazy!

Married parents are more likely to stay together than cohabiting ones. In fact, two-thirds of cohabiting parents split up before their child reaches age 12, compared with one quarter of married parents.

The rate of unintended births to cohabiting mothers is lower than for single parents, but still much higher than for those who are married. One in four births to married mothers are unintended, compared to one in two of those who are cohabiting.


most cohabiting biological parents have just a high school diploma or less, compared to a minority of married parents. The gaps are wider among fathers than mothers; two in three fathers cohabiting with the mother of their biological child have a high school diploma or less.


Mothers and fathers who are married earn substantially more than all other types of family structures, with cohabiting biological parents earning the least.


https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.brookings.edu/research/cohabiting-parents-differ-from-married-ones-in-three-big-ways/%3famp.

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So maybe it's not old-fashioned :-)

View Quoted Comment That is fascinating and eye opening stuff.
Thanks for sharing. 👍

View Quoted Comment Absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Congratulations 🎉 and the best to you both on your journey

We both believe in marriage (but we also understand and respect those that don't). It's also just practical for billing, insurance, medical etc. We also want to start a family and being married before that happens is a big deal for us.

Yes we've been together for almost 7 years and are practically married. We've lived together that entire time as well, but we both feel strongly about marriage and how it symbolizes our bond. Some may say 'It's just a piece of paper!'...but to us it's so much more.

We also love to party, and I've wanted to be married and have a wedding since I was a little girl soooo even more reason to get married!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you. ☺️

Of course, like anything worth having it's going to be a challenge (we both have issues we need to work on). But we are both very stubborn and determined, so I reckon we will be alright.

I've already imagined him with greying hair and I love that version of him too. 💞