Wine and beer only?

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I’ve heard that it’s actually a bad idea to do fully hosted. It costs way too much and typically people end up drinking too much. I just think it’s unrealistic for people who are young and paying for a wedding themselves.

View Quoted Comment Why is it awkward as a guest? We wouldn’t literally count the drinks people drink, but we would cap it at $1,000 or something like that. I see it the same way as capping the food at $50/person or something like that. It’s just setting a budget and the dinner or cake isn’t unlimited either.

View Quoted Comment That’s a cool set up! Did they base the cost off your number of guests? Or how do you know that you’re not overpaying if people don’t drink up to the amount of what you’ve paid for?

View Quoted Comment Thank you! It does seem like a lot of people think drink tokens/tickets are tacky but I’m not sure why. Some of the most expensive events I’ve been to have used them. 😂


Our venue thankfully already includes a bartender and they also kegs vs cans. They’re a restaurant and where I live (Oregon) is very strict with alcohol so we unfortunately can’t do self-serve. I think the only way to ensure that we don’t go way over budget is to set a limit of some sort at the beginning. We’re just trying to figure out whether to only serve wine & beer or also serve liquor until we close the bar or switch to cash bar.

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Most of the time, fully hosted is cheaper because it is per person rather than per drink. Guests will find a way to get drunk if they wish whether you pay for it or not but most are respectful.

Part of being a proper host is making sure your guests do not pay out of pocket while staying within your budget. If you can’t afford to host alcohol for everyone, then don’t serve any.

View Quoted Comment We can definitely afford to host alcohol for everyone, just not for everyone to have 3 drinks. That’s what we’re trying to navigate. I feel like as a guest, I’d be appreciative if some alcohol was hosted versus none. Maybe we can just host it for 2 hours and they can stop it once we hit our max budget.

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Does your caterer/bartender charge you per drink or per person? If you don’t know, find out immediately. They should be charging you per person. That means you pay $x for each guest to drink anything you are serving at the bar unlimited. What you are describing as per drink is consumption bar which has no oversight at all and you will get an astronomical bill at the end, and nonalcoholic options will be charged rather than free for your guests. If you have not already, tell the caterer/bartender you will be paying per person. This will cut your bill tremendously.

If you do plan to serve alcohol, do not inconvenience your guests who do not carry cash to special events. Pay for what you can afford and do not offer or have available what you cannot.

My friend paid $650 at Costco for liquor and mixers and had drinks for all night for 115 guests and a wedding that lasted 6 hours. I will be doing the same thing, but my wedding will be 80 people...kirklands vodka tastes just like grey goose for a fraction of the price

View Quoted Comment That’s such a good idea! We planned to do that if we found a venue that let us bring in our own alcohol. The one we went with doesn’t let us, but we would totally do that otherwise. I’ve heard the tip to just grab a couple bottles every time you’re shopping at Costco and then you won’t even notice the cost.

So my opinion on this has changed drastically. I’m sober so I don’t drink but was going to drink wine or champagne at my wedding. I’m now on a life saving medication that alters the taste of both of those! So even if I do drink, it doesn’t taste right. I say, save money and maybe provide everyone with one or two drink tickets. I was racking my brain over what to do and my fiancé’s family suggested a cash bar. I’m very against cash bars personally, but I’m also against spending a ton of money if you can’t enjoy the product 😂. So a ticket system would be fine. Maybe a drink with dinner?

View Quoted Comment Such a good point 😂 I’m happy for you that you’re sober! And I love this idea!

View Quoted Comment I was wondering the same thing. Most places charge per person rather than per drink. If they charge per drink they will likely charge for both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. I think you need to talk to your venue to see if you are charged per person or per drink. I would never advise going with a place that charges per drink.

View Quoted Comment I personally think it's awkward to charge for drinks because I wouldn't invite my friends over to a party at my house (particular if it's in the evening or for a celebratory occasion) and give them their first beer "free" and then charge them for any additional beverages... Why would a wedding make that different? Especially considering that most people who attend are giving the couple a gift and that weddings are generally an occasion for more formality.


And yes, meals and desserts aren't "unlimited" although most buffets and cakes or dessert tables have enough to cover those who go back for seconds. But in any multiple-hour event, the expectation is that one would expect to consume more then 1 beverage in that time. One wouldn't assume they'd be served 2 meals unless the event covered that time span. So in that regard, it's not an apples to apples comparison.
As to very fancy events giving out meal/drink tickets, that's not anything I've ever experienced outside of events that were either gala fundraisers (that I purchased tickets to attend) or a corporate/work party. I've never gone to a party or event where I was a personally invited guest of the host and received a meal or drink ticket.
So all of that said, if there's no way around a cash bar, I'd do as much as I could to "spread the word" so that guests are prepared.

And also, I know my reply was a little firm on the etiquette but I am far more forgiving of young couples who just don't know things like this yet. In the end, it's not the biggest deal and some folks have no issue with cash bars anyway. Just try to make sure folks are aware so they're prepared.

Yikes. I definitely wouldn't do drink tickets. The reason that many people think they're tacky is because they imply that the bride and groom are not good hosts. How would you feel if you attended a dinner party and you were cut off after one glass of wine, and asked to pay for your second glass? I'd either do unlimited wine and beer, or no alcohol at all. No need for cocktails. Much better to have a dry wedding than to make guests open up their wallets. Maybe drink tickets could work for a super casual backyard BBQ style wedding, but they still give out a stingy carnival vibe to me. That being said though, I would be super confused (and quite offended) to attend a wedding where the bride and groom splurged on luxuries like hiring a videographer and took a honeymoon to Bora Bora, only to have to open my wallet after a single glass of wine.

View Quoted Comment Thank you, I appreciate the advice! That’s good to know and probably not something I’ve noticed a lot since I’ve mostly been to weddings of people in their 20s who are paying themselves. Our families also don’t drink a lot, so it’s not a normal thing for parties or special occasions to host alcohol the whole time. I think we’re doing a few non-traditional things like having the bridal party pay for their own attire and not having a gift registry. It’s interesting to see what norms are being changed, especially after the last year of the wedding industry being completely different.

View Quoted Comment Oh wow. I wouldn’t think those things at all. I hope I’m never invited to a wedding where I judge them for not paying for all my alcohol but choosing to invest more in memories that they’ll get to enjoy. If anything, I’d appreciate that they’re budget savvy and not going into debt to have it all.


A dinner party is much different. Of course I’d pay for 10 friends to have alcohol in my home for a few hours. Paying for 150+ people to have all the alcohol they want over the course of 5-6 hours is a different story. I don’t think that not wanting to spend $2,000+ just on beverages makes a person a bad host.
I think there’s also something to be said about our culture when we think a video to remember a special event is a luxury but alcohol isn’t. I’ve been to numerous weddings where they couldn’t afford an open bar but they still wanted people to have the option to drink, and that was ok. It was their wedding and I was there to celebrate them, not to drink.
I think everyone has their priorities and it’s still possible to make it all work with some compromises. In my case, my grandparents and future kids being able to watch my wedding through a video matters more to me than people being able to have all the free alcohol they want on one night.

View Quoted Comment That makes sense, thank you! I was also totally only talking alcohol. Of course we’ll still provide other beverages throughout the whole night. We would definitely pay for guests’ alcohol for the whole night at a dinner party or gathering at home, but I think there’s this expectation that couples will host all the alcohol at a 150+ person wedding, which is much bigger than any other event a person (typically) hosts. Thank you for your advice!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! What is the difference with per person and per drink? Our venue seems to price it based on the cost of the alcohol x how many people will be drinking it.

View Quoted Comment We unfortunately can’t buy it ourselves, because it’s all hosted by the venue. We wouldn’t limit the alcohol, we would just only pay for it up to a certain point. But non-alcoholic drinks will still be around all night and alcoholic drinks would be around all night, just a cash bar at a certain point (like maybe the hosted bar closes at 9pm so people who want alcohol after that would pay).