Wine in the ceremony??

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No problem! My FW and I are pretty observant, and we can't think of any reason that wine is required. Someone above mentioned that the bitterness of the wine is symbolic, which is a good point, but I still think your rabbi should accommodate you.

View Quoted Comment Definitely not mad, it actually makes me happy when I see posts about Jewish weddings on these forums. It sounds like your fiancé is what they often call "culturally Jewish" or had that ancestry but doesn't practice the religion. He should definitely tell the rabbi this so she can understand his background and what kind of ceremony you guys are interested in 🙂 Luckily, since it's a female rabbi, she's probably in one of the less strict denominations of Judaism so she will most likely be flexible with stuff like allowing a substitution for the wine.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I didn’t know it was a requirement. She never mentioned it in our meeting. My fiancé didn’t know about it either. But if I were pregnant I wouldn’t want to be drinking alcohol, even if it’s a requirement for my wedding.

View Quoted Comment Oh cool….He’s reform and so is our rabbi.

View Quoted Comment So my rabbi wrote me back, she says there is wine at every Jewish event. Which is weird to me because none of my Jewish family members drink alcohol!

View Quoted Comment Interesting. I didn’t know this was a thing, but I guess since she’s Jewish it might be something she’s used to. Is there an option to not have it? I know it’s in the contract, but anyway you can kinda skip it if you wanted to?

View Quoted Comment Hi Imani! Sorry for the very late response! I’ll have to find out!