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Trista
VIP September 2019

Woe is my wedding... again...

Trista, on August 12, 2019 at 3:59 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 15
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26 days. Just 26 days and then this wedding will be OVER!


A little background info, my brother has a child with a girl he's been with for less than 2 years.

When my brother first got with this girl, she was great. She was nerdy, introverted, and sweet. Wonderful. I asked her to be a bridesmaid after she had the baby.

Wow is she a monster now! She is CONSTANTLY rude to me. She snaps at me, she's condescending, she's judgmental, I feel like she walks all over my brother, and to top it off, she's overly sensitive and dramatic.


Well, today, she started one of the weirdest conversations I've ever heard. She goes "Babies shouldn't have v*****s until they are 13." I think "What? What even? How do you respond to that?" So O say "but babies need those parts in order to be healthy and they should be embraced in case anything bad happens to them." She then FREAKS OUT saying that I don't get to tell her that and that I'm making her uncomfortable. I was so very confused. She's the one that brought up such an awkward and uncomfortable topic, then she got bad at me for trying to make it educational instead of creepy?

Anyway, I leave the room, slam my door so they do know I'm angry, and go into my bedroom. I hop on facebook and post something about how one should listen to understand, not respond, and she starts a bunch of drama with my best friend and brother while I'm talking on the phone with my mom about the entire situation.

Fast forward, I see on my RSVPs that her mom declined the wedding invite. I had to laugh because my brother's girlfriend straight up asked if her mom could come because her mom "wants to feel like part of the family." I shake it off, whatever, not like I had wanted her there anyway. Then, I see that my brother's girlfriend, MY BRIDESMAID, also declines the invite! Seriously?!

So now I'm down a bridesmaid 26 days before the wedding because I think that babies should have safe and healthy bodies.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Erin, on August 12, 2019 at 6:03 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    It honestly sounds like she has some kind of issue going on. I don’t like to immediately jump to PPD, but her outbursts don’t seem normal, especially if she wasn’t like this prior to being pregnant.

    Stop engaging her. If she says something you don’t agree with, either say nothing or walk away. For as much as she shouldn’t have gone off on you for your reply, your following actions (slamming the door and immediately calling your mom) are just as immature.
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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    I agree with this.
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  • Liz
    Devoted June 2021
    Liz ·
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    Yes, I agree, I really think she’s got something going on. I think you should be grateful she is declining being a bridesmaid. You don’t want an outburst on your wedding. Deal with your relationship with her after your big day. Enjoy it!
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  • Btbride
    Super August 2019
    Btbride ·
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    She definitely acted weird, but I'll be honest, stalking off, slamming the door, and making a passive aggressive facebook post about it wasn't exactly the adult way to handle an awkward interaction.

    It sucks to be down a bridesmaid, but at this point, all you can do is move on without her. Personally, considering that this situation is, at best, a weird disagreement that's been highly overblown, I'd consider if you really want to repair the relationship with her by trying to talk with her and calmly put this squabble behind you, or if you are fine being at odds with her going forward.

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  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    Agree with this.

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  • Courtney
    Dedicated October 2019
    Courtney ·
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    Is it possible that she may have postpartum ?
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  • Trista
    VIP September 2019
    Trista ·
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    I think she might, but she refuses to take any meds, she'd rather storm around and be mean, constantly.

    My first reaction was to call my mom, not to 'tell on her' but for advice. I've been trying for months now for her not to be rude to me. We've talked about it several times and nothing changes.

    I've tried asking my brother if she's doing ok, I really wanted to assume something bigger was going on and that's why she's been lashing out, but everytime I do, he says she's fine.

    I'm not sad about being down a bridesmaid. I don't want someone that doesnt support me in the wedding anyway.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    Whoa, this girl sounds like a piece of work. I'd be relieved that she dropped out the BP!

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  • Trista
    VIP September 2019
    Trista ·
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    She's definitely something, but she's also the mother to my niece, which sucks. I think I've decided that once we talk about what happened, I'm going to "break up" with her. I will still be nice and welcoming, but she will be my brother's girlfriend, not my friend.
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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    I agree with this. Also, OP, Facebook is not the place to air grievances. Even when done passively aggressively, the intended recipient usually figures out you're directing it to them and then you just air your dirty laundry instead of talking to each other privately. As an attorney, I can't tell you the number of times I have to tell my clients to stay off Facebook or social media when we are in the middle of litigation. It almost always comes back to haunt you.

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  • Trista
    VIP September 2019
    Trista ·
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    It's not, but when you're mad, you're mad. I was home alone and needed to vent.
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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    That's why we're here! Vent on WW. Smiley smile

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    Nothing wrong with that! It's really for the best

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  • 8Bitbek
    Devoted October 2020
    8Bitbek ·
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    It definitely seems a bit strange to me that she asked for her mother to be invited, and then both of them declined. I agree with PPs that this is probably stemming from a larger issue, like PPD. I hope she gets help and figures things out. I'm sorry this whole planning process has been such a continuous nightmare for you. I hope that you're able to enjoy your day surrounded by those that mean the most to you. If you need to vent again, we're all here for you.

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  • Erin
    Expert November 2019
    Erin ·
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    That’s kind of bizarre. I don’t know a lot about PPD nor do I know how long it’s been since she had her baby, but hormones can be wonky and sometimes people say some weird things. You just have to shrug it off and ignore weird comments like that. Maybe better to change the subject/redirect the conversation or simply walk away. 🤷‍♀️
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