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Kimberly
Super March 2021

Wording for reception to follow ceremony

Kimberly, on March 14, 2020 at 2:34 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 15
I know this plan/schedule isn’t the best, but our wedding is small with our closest family and friends. We are looking at about 30-35 guests at the most for a DW in Gatlinburg. The venue we choose is beautiful and all inclusive, but the options they offered weren’t great. The on-site dinner menu was bad and with my FH being a chef he was not comfortable with the choices. In addition the package with the dinner reception didn’t include ownership of pictures and that would have cost us a ton more money. On the flip side, we could do the ceremony only package with complete ownership of all images and add on a small reception with a grazing table and the cake. This is what we opted for because of the photos and the lack of menu options for dinner. However, I also wanted to add an extra hour so that we would have 3 hours onsite instead of two. They agreed to let us add on the extra hour, but required us to push back our starting time to 3:00.
So we will arrive at 3:00, ceremony to start at 3:30/3:45 and will last about 20 minutes then pictures and reception. We must be out by 6:00. Yes I know we should really be offering dinner at this time, but we went back and forth and just decided the grazing table and cake would serve as hot d'oeuvres and then everyone could do dinner on their own (most will probably do something together).
My question.... how do we word the reception part on the invites to clarify that it isn’t a full meal?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Vicky, on March 17, 2020 at 12:19 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    “Cake and punch reception to follow.”
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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    I highly suggest reconsidering. A DW should have a higher level of hosting. Asking your guests to spend all that money to travel and then not even giving them a meal is wrong IMO.
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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    This is what I originally thought but then second guessed it because it’s more than just cake and punch. Probably the best route to take though, huh?
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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    I appreciate what you are saying, but we’ve made the decision and are sticking to it. The majority of the guests will only have about a 3 hour drive to the venue so it’s not requiring airfare and an extended hotel stay. In fact they could come up the morning of and drive back after if they chose to. The only one that will be traveling a distance is my grandfather and my FH and I will be paying for my cousin to rent a motor home to drive him up so that’s a big chunk of our budget.
    We will also do a morning after brunch for anyone that chooses to stay the night. So we are still hosting, just not the dinner following the wedding ceremony.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Can you get a private room at a restaurant maybe and host a dinner “reception” there at like 6:30? If you’re expecting everyone to eat dinner together anyway (and especially if you plan to attend that dinner) it would be pretty awkward for you to not treat everyone to the meal after they traveled to your wedding
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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    We have looked into that a little, but haven’t really loved the idea. We were not planning to go to dinner with everyone. We were planning to do something just the two of us.
    My FH and I have 3 kids between us so we don’t get a lot of time alone as it is and our honeymoon will include the kids. We were kind of wanting to have the rest of the evening to ourselves.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    It’s kind of rude though to have people do a 3 hour drive to your wedding, serve them appetizers, and then tell them “now go get dinner, we’re going out for some alone time.” I would really consider treating them to dinner and then maybe planning a romantic breakfast just the two of you, or dinner the following night?
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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    We’ll consider it. Thank you.
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    What Caytlyn said.

    However, given that you will be done by dinner, you may be expected to have dinner with your guests, particularly if they are staying near your accommodations. It might be best to bite the bullet and figure out a dinner of some kind.

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  • Jessica
    Devoted February 2020
    Jessica ·
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    To answer your question I would say "light/ heavy hors d'oeuvres and cake to follow ceremony" or something like that.


    Be upfront with your guest to set the expectation and they can choose to attend or not attend. I personally love a good grazing table and can easily get filled up on that.

    I know many people have opinions on what you should or should not do for your wedding and what follows. I even started to 2nd guess myself to meet certain "etiquette standards" or to please everyone but I finally said we need to do what's best for us and what will fit into our budget.

    Good luck, everything will turn out as intended!
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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    Honestly, for a destination wedding, I think you should be serving a full meal. Have everyone meet you after the cake and grazing table at a local restaurant and pay the bill.

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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    Thank you.
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  • Chelsea
    Expert June 2021
    Chelsea ·
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    Since it's a smaller wedding, I don't think people will mind. You'll always have a handful that will criticize whatever you choose, but this day is about you and your FH! I suggest wording it as "hors d'oeuvres and cake to follow." As an attendee, this sets the tone that the main event is seeing you get wed, but I don't need to pack my own snacks. Furthermore, it may give me a chance to catch up and mingle with other guests at dinner somewhere afterward.

    Additionally, if you've set up a wedding website, you could even put the timeline on there or include a "schedule of events" card with your invitations. . . it seems less "pushy" than putting a set time (ex: 3 - 5) on the invitation. This is how mine is listed on my website:

    3 - 4: Ceremony by Pastor . . .

    4 - 5: Sip and Stroll in the Waterside Garden

    5 - 9: Reception with dinner in the Carriage House

    By including this, I don't have to "tell" my guests to leave. Instead, they RSVP knowing it will be over by 9.

    Hope this helps!

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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    Thank you.
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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    Why would people not mind if there are fewer of them? They're still each individuals who are traveling to a destination wedding and spending significant time and money, only to be not fed a meal.

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