Working opposite shifts is ruining our marriage

I have found this form to be very beneficial. I feel like I made a huge mistake getting married so soon (married for 1 month) and not looking at all of the obstacles. My husband works 7 days a week (evening midnights 10 pm to 630 am) with very few days off for months. On the other hand I work Monday through Friday on day shift with the weekends off. we do not have any time to spend together which is why I feel like I should have never gotten married but the thought was if we were in the same household it would make things better. I do not see this changing until he or I retire which is quite a ways down the road. This is my first marriage and his 4th marriage. At this point I'm trying to do damage control for the sake of my sanity and peace. I feel I made such a huge mistake but I don't see this working. I do not need anyone to help me pay my bills as I make really good pay, it was more of companionship and being married at 56. I'm lost, help!

I can totally relate It's hard to make a marriage work when you never see each other. My fiance works 3rd shift and I work first shift. I've been single for so long that I can't imagine getting married and still going to bed alone, without my husband. That's just not appealing to me. His schedule is never the same week to week as far as his days off, and usually his days off are not consecutive days on the weekend when I'm off. So our schedules are totally opposite. His thought process is that we will somehow have more time together than if we both worked for a shift. That doesn't make sense to me. Yes, we can have dinner together every night, but then he leaves for work and I'm left alone at home. If we worked the same shift, we would still have dinner together and then be able to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie or go out to dinner with friends and then come home and crawl in bed together. I'm really struggling with this whole situation, And he's pretty adamant about not wanting to change to a first shift job. Being an older couple, our children are older and starting lives of their own. This is a time when I want to be focused on me, and my new relationship, as selfish as that may seem. I've spent many years taking care of my children as a single mom and trying to make ends meet and now I just want to be able to relax and have a normal relationship where I have time with my spouse and fall asleep in his arms every night.

Have you tried couples counseling? This sounds like an issue of needs not being met. It is completely legitimate to want to me on the same general schedule as your life partner, since you are sharing life together. He also has needs for a less stressful job. But, it doesn't sound like he's considering the fact thay he wanted to get married; he's just making chocies as if he were a single person. I hope it gets better for you!