Worried

Ohhhh hell no. I would probably drop her if she wants to be petty about you not changing your date she knew prior

What kind of friend does that? She’s being super selfish and that isn’t fair to you at all. A true friend would not do that. I’m sorry you are dealing with that but absolutely do not change your date.

She already knew that was your date because she agreed to be a bridesmaid already so it seems like she picked that date on purpose. Don't change your date at all. If she persists just tell her you're sorry that you'll miss her at your wedding.

She needs to get over it. You did nothing wrong. Even if she’s acting different I’d ignore it because honestly it’s not your problem.


I will add in that I think you should prepare for her to possible book the same date anyway. People do what they want usually and she will try to find a way to justify to herself that she is right.

Whatttttt! Sorry you’re going through this. Absolutely do NOT change your date. I agree with all the comments above. Keep planning your wedding day as you and your fiancé want.

Omg she sounds so self centered. How could she ask you to change your date so she could have it. Who does that? Don’t change your date. Also I would be skeptical about her being a bridesmaid honestly I would be afraid that she would either sabotage your wedding or copy your wedding.

She is stuck between her friend and her fiance. Of course she is upset. And expected you would not change. But she may yet convince her fiance to change. If all she is doing is being distant, ride it out and hope she can find another place and time he likes better.
Or if no, well that happens. Read on here much and you find that when people talk bridesmaids, people not married yet most often say it is
Okay to choose them any time, ands many as your heart feels. And far more already married people ( and etiquette, not wedding books,) say do not ask until 8-11 months at the earliest. Since you still have more than

13 months, you must have announced bridesmaids before knowing who is likely to become engaged themselves.
. or pregnant. Hard to say this after thfact. But for those engaged, asking too early Leeds to loss of a lot of bridesmaids.

She sounds like a terrible friend. She knew your wedding date well in advance, agreed to be a bridesmaid, and then gets upset when you won't change your wedding date? Why is she so obsessed with the date YOU picked? Does she plan on mooching your wedding decorations and stuff? I don't meant to come off as harsh, but I'd tread carefully with her. My biggest concerns would be her stealing your ideas or causing problems that may sabotage your wedding.

She has no right to ask you to change your date. That’s ridiculous.

View Quoted Comment Are you saying a best girlfriend should be more important than a fianceé? That is the situation this bridesmaid is in. There is no meanness or selfishness in
putting your husband ahead of your girlfriend.

I’m confused. I would drop her as a friend completely. She doesn’t care about you at all.

View Quoted Comment Not necessarily, but she’s a bridesmaid in a wedding that already has a date set. I think it’s poor taste to ask your friend to move her date when she had it first. There are 364 other days they can choose from, or wait until that time next year.

I'm so sorry that really stinks. One of my bridesmaids got engaged after saying yes to being a bridesmaid. We postponed to this coming August and she decided to plan her wedding the weekend before us.....not gonna lie it hurts a lot because she has not been able to do a single thing with me (bridal shower, Bach, ect) because she has her own wedding stuff. So I get I t, and it sucks.

Why would you think she has any idea of mooching the bride's ideas on wedding decorations and stuff? Or stealing her Ideas or causing problems that may sabotage bride's wedding? How do you get that from acting kind of distant and upset? Bride suggest nothing so mean. Just that she is stuck between FI and bride friend.

View Quoted Comment Did you suggest that she was too busy, and be a guest at all these things, not wedding party? The week we married was 4 years after college graduation and 3 after many grad schools, and military for many. About 30 of either hubby's best friends or mine, as well as siblings, cousins on both sides. But people just recognized that everyone had difficult choices between their own family, friends they had agreed too be in WP for long before, or 1-3 years before their own dates. But most people were gracious about those unable to do their own and another , dropping out or doing a limited number of things. Even when there is a WP often it is not Wedding Party who give showers and Bach. They are not mandatory. And people truly overloaded, either BM or bride may suggest not being in the WP if adjacent weekends. If people act adult about it.

HOW are you so calm about any of this?! Of all 365 days in the year she just HAS to steal YOUR DATE?! I think there is some underlying jealousy there or perhaps a silent need to compete with you. It is NOT Ok and if it were me I would have a full on problem with her after that. The audacity to ask you to switch your date after she KNOWS that you’ve already started planning is just disrespectful and does not sound like a friend to me. Your bridesmaids are supposed to have your back and make sure your day is amazing, and sis is already trying to ruin it for you. Also, I am sorry you are going through this. My MIL decided after we booked our venue to “renew her vows” and have a full on wedding. Now I hear that my BIL and his GF are suddenly rushing to wed before we do. I was upset at first but I’m over it. Had this happened though, I would have had a full on meltdown. Kudos to you for being nice about it.

View Quoted Comment Exactly my thoughts!

View Quoted Comment Yes I asked if she wanted to step down because I knew she would be burdened but she said no (already bought the dress and everything). So I made sure to schedule around her showers and Bach party but she didn't seem to care to ask or schedule around mine. Or I would figure out a date that worked for her that she would then forget and schedule something over it. Frustrating but I'm over being upset about it. Just need to get through the day.