Worst cracker jokes needed for the wedding please!!

Just buy a bag of Laffy Taffys and get all your jokes from them!

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A PORK CHOP

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Because he felt crummy.

What did the big bucket say to the little bucket?

You look a little pail!

What kind of flower is on your face?

Tulips!

Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?

Because it’s a little meteor.

Why do birds fly south in the winter?

Because it's too far to walk!

What cheese is made backwards?

Edam!

If two's company and three a crowd, what are four and five?

Nine!

Thanks CrystalS and KT - these are great!

KT, I'm in the UK, I don't think we have Laffy Taffys here. I've been trying to collect jokes all year but keep coming across the same ones - this is great as there have been several here that I've not come across so far :-)

I did find a good one today, although it's Christmassy and half the people at the wedding won't know what it means, but:

What did Miley Cyrus have for Christmas dinner? Twerky.

How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. But it takes a long time, costs a lot of money and the lightbulb has to want to change.

I have a 9 year old. I could keep these going all day. lol

What do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef.

Keep them coming CrystalS - they are all gratefully received!!

Thanks Rye - I like that one. I have a similar one:

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it.

What do little pirates learn in school?

The three ARRRs.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo, who?

Don't cry, everything will be OK.

Did you hear the joke about the Bed? No? That's because it hasn't been made up yet.

What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

Why was the man running around his bed?

He wanted to catch up on his sleep.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

Thanks Lizz and Nancy T :-)

What do you call a short fortune-teller who escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

Thanks CrystalS - you're a star for these!

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of

penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, "You can't drive around with

penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy agrees

to do so and drives away.

The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the

truck full of penguins -- and they're all wearing sunglasses! He pulls

the guy over and says, "I thought I told you to take these penguins to

the zoo yesterday!"

The guy replies, "I did - they loved it, thanks. Today I'm taking them

to the beach!"

I'm still confused. I read the title and thought you wanted jokes about white people.

What is a Pirates favourite letter? You think it'd be the "R" but its the "C"

What do you call a Bee that makes milk instead of honey? BOO-BEES

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Owls

Owls Who?

Yes... yes they do.

Thanks Nicole :-)

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.

Haha @SXC I thought the same thing when I read the title. My boss is from the UK and hands out those little popper toys at Christmas, I think they have jokes in them. Although I didn't know they were called crackers

Why don't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheat-ahs.

What did one wall say to the other wall?

Meet you at the corner.

What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry?

If you weren't so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam.