Would it be polite to state that ceremony is adult-only celebration on the invites?

You don’t actually need it listed anywhere l. It technically isn’t proper etiquette to announce who is not invited. What you do is instead just address the save the date and invitation to those who are invited. For instance, say “John and Jane Smith” rather than “The Smith Family.” That indicates that the invitation is only for John and Jane.

Invitations are supposed to offer hospitality not send the message that certain groups are not welcome. Invitations are addressed very specifically, by name, to those invited, not generically ie The Jones Family. If anyone does replies ambiguously or adds the name of their child to an RSVP that's when you follow up and let them know there was a misunderstanding and that the invitation was meant for the two of them. If you are especially worried about certain people you can contact them ahead of time to see if they need any help finding local sitters.

I never see this language and to date I've never seen a time when anyone brought uninvited children. I would not contribute any further to the idea that if a couple does not have this sort of language then it's a free for all. Then everyone is doing something different and no one knows which end is up. In reality most people are not this clueless. By sharing this info with everyone instead of an as needed basis you are sending the message that people would be rude enough to bring uninvited children.

It's not considered polite to refer to people who aren't invited on an invitation. So, no kids please would be considered rude, as would "adults only".

Address the invitations by name to the adults you are inviting. In the RSVP, put "2 seats have been reserved in your honour", and then put each name on the card: ___ will/will not be attending. If people add the kids in, then you'll need to address that individually.

I agree with and have seen it done where the invites/save the dates are addressed as “Mr and Mrs. ____” instead of “The ___ Family”. On my wedding website I have a Q+A section and one of the questions addressed is whether kids are invited and I just put out there that while we love the tiny humans, we are keeping it adult only and the invite states who is invited on it. It’s phrased a little more eloquently than that, but that’s the gist of it.


Another handy thing WeddingWire does if you’re doing an online RSVP is populate guest names for you, so when guests go to respond, the only names that will pop up are the ones you’ve put in, meaning if kids aren’t invited, their names won’t show up and they can’t RSVP for them.
Good luck and happy planning 😊

It depends on one’s perspective on this topic. Go with what you feel is right for you. I don’t think it rude to put adult only on your invitations. I say this because I did do adult only. My reasoning that I wanted an adult environment, I didn’t want to receive more guest on the rsvp than expected. As far as I knew no one had an issue with it. For my guests didn’t come, it was because of COVID. I got married during COVID so I knew some guest would come because of it.

View Quoted Comment The only reason I feel I do have to put this on a details card with the invites is because I’ve been to quite a few weddings that I know the bride personally complaining to me that she addressed all mail out to those who are invited and the website generates only names that are invited so the day of the wedding multiple parents brought their kids with no invitier or notice to the wedding party. Some friends of mine feel they have to put it out there because they know some people will not abide by the common sense behind the direct addressed invites. I think of a few people that are close family that will bring their kids who I don’t want there. And if I don’t make it clear stating “This is an Adult-Only Celebration.” Then I’m going to pay for plates for people I can’t afford, and run the risk of drama by saying they need to leave. I don’t want slip ups. And it’s easily said than done to just not invite these people when really it’s not like.

View Quoted Comment Did you apply adult-only to invitation or a details card? Or was it put on your save the dates. I’ve seen it applied to different mailed out cards.

View Quoted Comment I put my adult only on my invitations. This is where I thought it would be more appropriate there and they would be able to respond correctly to the rsvp. You are right about brides/grooms doing it differently. It is a matter of what is right for you.

It is not polite to mention anything anywhere about no children or adults only. Because it is not acceptable to say who is not invited on an invitation. But people do what they want without regard to how others will take it. The place to mention who is invited is on the envelope. Mr & Mrs John Smith instead of The Smith Family. If someone doesn’t read and they rsvp for additional guests, then you reach out to them immediately to clarify the situation.

"I’ve been to quite a few weddings that I know the bride personally complaining to me that she addressed all mail out to those who are invited and the website generates only names that are invited so the day of the wedding multiple parents brought their kids with no invitier or notice to the wedding party."

Then the mistake was theirs in following up with RSVPs. If the replies are not completely clear as to who is replying, then you just have to follow up individually. "Will be there" is not an appropriate answer.