Would you be upset if your spouse went to a strip club?

Everyone has their own personal opinion on this, but this is an absolute no for me.
I believe that marriage is a sacred bond and no one should put themselves in a place where they are looking at someone else the way they should be looking at their spouse. To me, it’s about dedication and respect. There are enough temptations online & elsewhere to draw our eyes, so why go into the “belly of the beast” so to speak?
A guy friend told me about his friend's bachelor party where the groom spent several hundred $ in a private room 🤢My FH will be going on a bachelor trip pretty soon. Before we found out the events (golf lol) we had an open conversation where I told him I was not comfortable with the idea of him going to a strip club, and my reasons. In the end, I told him I understood why he was nervous about saying no if the group was going (didn’t want to be judged/seem unfun) and that it was ultimately up to him and I trust him. He mulled it over for about a week and then came back and said he was starting to agree with my points more and more. I know a lot of people say “oh she’s just insecure about her own body” and so what if that’s part of it? Does that really matter, or is it just an excuse for people to say it’s ok to look at other people instead of at your spouse? I know my opinion is not a popular one, but I have heard from many people who feel the same way.

I trust my fiance and know that he will be safe and make choices that would be appropriate for him and for our relationship. I personally have no issues with strip clubs or anything like that, all I ask is that he tips the workers well and has a great time with his friends. When he traveled to Amsterdam with his two friends he went to the Red Light District and I told him if he truly wanted he could sleep with one of the women in the window as long as he is safe about it. He opted out because he was not interested. I see these types of things as a service and all I ask of him is that he treat these women with respect, but I have a less traditional view about these types of things because I did not have a hardcore religious upbringing and grew up with a sex positive family who have always been open with this type of thing.

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What would happen in private rooms? Do you know if any strip clubs in san jose that pay $150 would do things on the DL too?

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TOTALLY with you Anna. I'm not ok with anything that makes a meat market out of women.

View Quoted Comment Hi Jasmine! Since I don’t want to potentially break any kind of content rules on the forum, I will send you a private message. 😊

I was not ok with my BF going to a strip club for his best friends bachelor party after learning of his past experiences of BJ’s in private rooms when young and dealing with addiction. (He’s been sober 15 years) His friends chose a weekend in Reno rather than staying in town. One friend had to hide it from his wife. And I noticed my boyfriend enjoyed impressing his friends with his stories. I told him I’m was not ok with him going, but would not be a woman who tells my BF what to do. All I can do is set boundaries and hope my BF loves and respects me enough to not cross the agreed upon boundaries. After all i was madly in love with him, I trusted him more than anyone I had ever been with. He constantly reassured me he wasn’t going to do anything and it was his first bachelor party, he just wanted to be with the guys and not left out. After several conversations I compromised, ok to go to the strip club but no back rooms and no touching. Well, him and his married friends went in back rooms, there was touching and xxx rated lap dances with p***y in their faces. God knows what else happened since reviews on this place say the girls make fun of the guys that don’t touch enough. As if they enjoy being fondled by numerous men throughout the night. It gets worse those married men are planning to make Reno their annual guys trip. To me this behavior is cheating. I knew there were guys like this out there but never imagined I would be fooled by one.

View Quoted Comment A guy friend of mine sucks on the strippers b**bs in the private rooms in San Jose. That’s all he was willing to tell me after my BF went in a back room in Reno… where anything goes

I'm very on the fence about this. As someone who once attended and promoted male strip shows, I have seen bachelorettes sneak off into private rooms with male strippers--so I can only imagine at what goes on at the male equivalent of these festivities. Also, I once knew a young woman who encouraged her husband to visit strip clubs with his friends, urging him despite his initial protests, to 'go and put those girls through college so I can have some time to get things done at home." A year later, they were in divorce court--he ended up having an affair with one of the strippers.

One thing I might suggest--have a his and hers bridal party. Put the gents and ladies in separate rooms, hire one male dancer and one female dancer, and have a 'dancing only, no contact' policy. Also assign a host or master/mistress of ceremonies to check on both rooms periodically.

Or better yet, see the stereotypical bachelor or bachelorette party for what it is, an outdated "tradition" and justification for bad behavior considering most couples haven't been single for years by this point. The whole "one last night" ship should have sailed a long time ago. That's not even getting into all the over the top expectations for expensive multi-day destination events.

Yes, I consider it cheating and would call the wedding off.


My husband getting sexual enjoyment from other women is not acceptable to me. He is completely on board and I'm agreement with me on this (otherwise I wouldn't be marrying him).