Would you confront the in-laws?

Sorry this is long.
Getting married in less than 6 weeks, and my bachelorette is in 3 weeks.We planned our wedding 12 months out for the day, and honestly, it’s been nothing but drama from the in-law side. Not ONE plan or decision has been able to be made without input/opinion/backstabbing. We are self-funding our whole wedding, keeping jobs or roles minimal and want everyone to come and be treated. The wedding is expensive by choice, because we have hand picked everything we love and want. FH family do not understand, they are used to DIY weddings where everyone helps out. I come from a very self sufficient background where I want to hand pick every detail with my partner - I think it’s beautiful that it really represents us. Plus he loves being involved and picking things together.

We tried giving heaps of information, no information, we tried giving small jobs (not that there are really any to do!). We tried distracting MIL with chatting about her outfit and giving her inside info on surprise elements we have at the wedding. Older SIL was in tears for weeks over “no children” and we ended up allowing family children so her kids could come (the wedding was adults only at the start). Younger SIL thought she would be in the bridal party but is a brat and doesn’t get along with anyone so we chose friends instead. She is not currently speaking to FH, but wants a “role”. I have come very close to taking her off the guest list.Close cousin declined invite months out cos she refused to get a babysitter. Then bombarded FH with abusive texts saying he was a rubbish Godparent to her child.Other female cousin complained our wedding was too close to hers.Multiple Aunts complained about the cost of the Bachelorette and have been calling, texting, questioning my Bridesmaids.
The tricky thing is that all this has been handled by FH, but obviously I’ve heard it all (and from others, even my family members who have been contacted about the Bachelorette!). NO ONE has ever raised anything directly with me. When I see everyone, they are lovely and normal. My poor FH used to be a chronic people pleaser but he got fed up early in the planning and put his foot down with everyone which has just caused chaos. This hasn’t stopped them saying how “sad” and “disappointed” they are, and are still trying to guilt him/us into changing things. Not one of his family have asked what me or my family want, they actually act like my family doesn’t exist. I feel bad for my family as they are just happily coming along, not putting their nose into everything.
Younger SIL has been “helping” with Bachelorette (my FHs request to give her something to do) but my sister says she’s been painful. I’m so uncomfortable having her and the older SIL (and anyone else who complained) at the Bachelorette cos my FH won’t be there and I am worried I’ll say something to them once I’ve had a few drinks.I’m harbouring a lot of anger towards them all for making my FH miserable. He’s been in tears multiple times about how much this has tainted every aspect of the planning. This is time and memories we can’t get back. We are only starting to get excited now (everyone has back off a little except younger SIL), so I almost feel like it’s too late to bring it up now.
I want them to know they have put us through hell (he told them multiple times that we are thinking of cancelling and eloping). I don’t think it’s right for them to come along to the wedding and have me act friendly and normal, they eat and drink on my budget, and all be treated amazingly on the day, thinking it’s ok that they have tainted our planning for the last 12 months.
Would you bring it up at all so that they know I know everything? Before the wedding wouldn’t be a good idea, but after the wedding might also seem petty. Or shall I continue to be the bigger person and just leave it? I have to have a relationship with the in-laws in the future, and they seemingly have gotten away with making us almost cancel our wedding at times.