I am really struggling with what to do with this situation. A little backstory: My whole life I have always said I am never getting married. I’ve never had an interest in it. So when I got engaged, my entire family was shocked and elated! Everybody has been super excited for us and immediately started asking questions about the wedding. I’m not a traditional person and don’t enjoy traditional weddings, so I knew immediately I wanted to have a small, fun destination wedding. The problem: my family is HUGE. Just my family members alone would have been over 120 people. So FH and I decided to only invite parents, siblings and wedding party (and everyone’s significant others of course). After postponing twice, we had hoped my family would settle down on asking about the wedding, but the haven't. They know we are having a destination wedding, and everyone wants to go! So now I’m conflicted on whether we should make an announcement that, due to venue space restrictions, we would not be able to invite everyone and we couldn’t imagine “picking & choosing” between our loved ones, so we have decided to elope with only our parents, siblings and wedding party…. Or just have the wedding then announce our marriage after the fact. What would you do in this situation??
***edited to add: most of them already know all our plans and are asking my mom when we are going to decide on a new date. Because we never specificallly said we were going to have a very small wedding (because tbh we kept going back and forth about maybe changing venues so that we could just invite them all so we wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings) I think they are all expecting to be invited. Plus, everyone in our family has always had huge weddings where everyone was invited, so it's likely just expected. I am very close with family, so there's no negative feelings about them assuming they are invited or anything. I just need to find the most tactful and respectful way of breaking the news to them that they aren't. I can't put my mom in the position of telling people the decision we've made, so I definitely need to make an announcement one way or the other. Just trying to feel out whether others think it would be better to announce now so everyone knows what's going on... or just post a photo after the wedding announcing we eloped.