Writing vows for your future step children

I haven't written mine yet. I plan on them being short though. I'm just going to express my commitment to her as well.

My future step daughter will be 8 when we get married and lives with us full time, never sees bio mom as she lost custody rights a few years back. To her I am mom (she knows I'm not her birth mother). We will probably dance to a song together. She's very emotional when it comes to this stuff so I don't want to put her on the spot like that. Everyone who will be at my wedding knows how much I love her and knows I would go to the ends of the earth for her, including her as I tell her all the time. I think it's more about what's important to you to let your little know as every step family relationship is different.

This sounds like a sweet idea, Laura!

Have you talked to your officiant about it? He/she may have some tips from previous weddings!

Do you and your FS plan on doing this, or just you? Is your FS on board with the vows?

View Quoted Comment He is totally on board! He even thought of maybe having his six year old daughter give him away at the alter too. (we will need to think and discuss that more.) yeah we agreed to writing our own vows. You know I didn't think of asking the officiant that. Good idea!

We both said vows to our respective children and our minister also talked to them about how important they are to uphold our marriage and family. They’re a lot older, the youngest is 14, so this may not be as appropriate for you. We didn’t ask them for anything in return. (That can backfire). I searched for words online and cobbled a couple of ceremonies together with some changes. It went really well.

Wedding Commitment to children

Officiant:There are children who will share in this marriage. The gathering of this new family will have a deep influence upon them. It will both complicate and enrich their lives. They will also have much to contribute to this new family. We realize that in order for the home to be a happy one, it is essential that there be love and understanding between the children and the adults being married.

It is the desire of _________ and _________ to extend their commitments to each other by making some promises to the children of this family, _____,______, _____ and _______.

Bride to children, then groom to children:

_________, I want you to know that I love your mother/father very much. I will not and cannot replace your mother/father, whom you love dearly, however I can promise you that I will love you and care for you as if you were my own. I promise to be a committed listener. I promise you my trust, to be fair, what knowledge I can share, to be your friend, and to provide a shoulder to cry on. I promise to love, respect and support you all the days of my life.

Officiant to Child/Children:You are a vital part of this new marriage. _________ and _________ give you their unconditional love and honor your presence in their lives. Your participation is requested to help develop the bonds of a new family.

As your parents have exchanged their pledges to each other and to you, we ask that you also pledge that you will join together to weave a fabric of mutual help and support, that you will help create a home and a way of life in which all of you may grow into the fullness of the best people you can be. Your love, support and cooperation will help make a happy and successful home for all of you.

May it be so.