WW Book Club Discussion - The Husband's Secret

I also think I would have gotten paranoid that he knows he is going to die soon, like he has a serious illness and didn't tell me.

I really want to see a picture of this Connor guy, because if everyone (even Polly) had a crush on him, DAMN. Gimme some.

I would have opened it as well. Curiosity would have gotten the better of me, and I would want to know what was so important. Especially if he acted like John Paul!

I imagined Conner as Gerard Butler. bring on the gym shorts.

@Chrissy - here's a visual

^ ^ Yup, definitely would've chosen Connor!

A little behind, but I absolutely would have opened that letter! Wouldn't have even asked first.

#teamconnor

I would have opened the letter in front of him.

I confess I couldn't read the whole book. I tried I swear. I skimmed it, speed reading and then read the epilogue. It just didn't get me invested at all. I feel like such a brat.

Yup. That is totally how I pictured Connor too.

I'd have opened the letter. I would probably have approached him with it before reading it but, based on his reaction to finding out about it, I would have grown suspicious and opened it that night.

I actually liked the book because while the premise was dark and painful, the writing was candid and relateable.

DISCUSSION QUESTION!!!

Cecilia has been married to John-Paul for fifteen years and has three children with him. Until she opens his letter, she seems to trust him and believe him to be the wonderful husband and father she’s always thought him to be. But when she discovers his terrible, sinful secret, she begins to question him. How well can one know one’s spouse? Is it possible to ever completely know another person?

The way she portrays Cecilia, is like her entire life is pre-planned and pre-designed in her head before it actually happens. She has to be this perfect, organized, involved woman who does it all, etc. I feel like she created an image of her husband in her head and just went with it. Almost like her life is a play and Jean Paul is playing his character the way she wants him to.

#teamconnor 100%

I think that even if you have told everything 100% to your spouse that you think is important or secret, sometimes things in our past prior to the spouse pops up later in life. However, in their case John Paul knew about this secret and was withholding it which is different.

I think you can know a person 100% according to them and you but who knows what ghosts are lurking in the past waiting to pop up!

Exactly, Goose. You only know what your spouse chooses to tell you and in the context that they tell you. I assume the best of H and want to believe he tells me the truth about his past (there is plenty of good and bad). I think at some point you have to accept that you may never know all of the good and bad things they've done...but you can trust who they are from that day forward.

Like maybe if your husband tells you he's in love with your cousin and wants you all to live in the same house together...that might make you doubt who your husband really is going forward.

But one could argue that just because you don't know every detail of their past doesn't necessarily mean that you don't know them as a person. In this book, John Paul actually was a good husband and loving father. His past actions don't negate that.

I don't think you can ever know someone 100%, but you can know them pretty damn well. What he did back then doesn't change who he had been for 15 years, but it would make me question. Hard to trust someone after that.

I think I would be more willing to forgive a horrible deed done in the past, especially as a teenager, before I could forgive current unfaithful actions.

1) Definitely would have opened the letter. DEFINITELY.

2) I agree. It seems like John Paul kinda fit into her plan for a perfect life like a puzzle piece. I didn't really see any romance or emotion between them and they only seemed to be in to the kids-not each other. It wasn't until she opened the letter that all of a sudden she saw his flaws and shortcomings.

Is it possible to completely know another person? Only if they are willing to tell you everything. Otherwise, you're involved with their representative.

I now realize I actually didn't answer the question, haha.

I feel like you can get to know your spouse's character almost 100%, but it's hard to really know 100% what their past is, or what they do when they're not with you. I mean, do we all know how our spouses are like at work? Hopefully it does get very close to 100% but there will always be some gaps there that we don't know. Hopefully nothing like Jean Paul's secret, though!

I agree on that Katy. Would be harder to forgive now then something that happened in the past.

I agree, Katy. We have a saying back home - what was not on your year, was no damage for you (it rhymes in Spanish haha). It's one thing to accept mistakes from the past, and a whole different monster to accept something that hurts trust.