Your positive views on marriage

So far there has only be two eye roll comments made about marriage to me! I work for a company that makes custom fire trucks so where I work is male dominated, so I was surprised when I only got two comments that were negative.

The first one was by a co-worker that has or had a crush on me. One day we were the last to leave the break room after lunch and he said to me "you know that marriage is forever? Are you sure that you want to?" I told him Yes I do and I am aiming to be married forever!

Next was another co-worker said "o man another fallen comrade! But I guess since he is marrying you that isn't to bad then!"

Other then that everyone else is so supportive and happy for FH and I. After FH proposed to me FFIL was leaving and talked to FH outside to congratulate him and tell him that he is really happy for us and he knows that we will work out and be very happy, because he can see that we work well together, we talk things out and work together as a team.

View Quoted Comment I love that, that makes me so happy to hear. I think you hear some horror stories from people with unhappy marriages because those are the ones that stick out. And sometimes hearing one negative comment about their views on marriage after another it makes me scared but I love hearing positive things like that, thank you so much and congrats to you two!

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It made me happy to hear too because FH parents just got divorced right before he proposed and FH told FFIL his concerns and does not want to end up like them. (he didn't want to be blunt about it but his dad is good and doesn't go crazy when talking about it.) So that is why his dad said that and he said he loves the two of us together!

I just ignore anything with negativity about marriage! I just look at what my parents had, which was a true marriage! They were 100% team members and worked so well together. When my dad passed away last year my mom kept saying how she lost her teammate! So I am aiming for us to be like them!

And last thing Congratulations to you two too!

I had a terrible "starter marriage" in my very early 20s that ended in a very nasty & bitter divorce 5 years later. It was one of those things where I shouldn't have gotten married, no one particularly thought I should be marrying him, but no one wanted to tell me that and hurt my feelings. Or they thought it wasn't their place because I was technically an adult and could make poor life choices if I wanted to.

Needless to say, I was afraid what my parents/family/friends would say or think when I started bringing my FH around them. But everyone has actually gone out of their way to tell me how glad they are that I've found him, and how much happier I seem now than I was, and how nice it is that I found the "real thing" this time. It's been nice to have that support, especially when my anxiety gets high.

Just remember that when people say those things it's usually an indicator of their own relationships, not yours.

I'm not married yet either (getting married in May), and I actually struggled with this for such a long time. It seemed like everywhere I turned there was bad news about marriage. My fiance wasn't worried at all, but we did a preparation for marriage course online and it was sooo good! It opened my mind up to so many things.

It basically went through things that could cause tension in a marriage and then gave us tools on how to handle things when we face struggles. How to communicate, not just on the surface but deeply - finding out what values we place on different things and why, working out what expectations we bring into the marriage, etc.

What we learnt was that it's so easy to be in love and selfless at the beginning. Our FH's faults aren't a big deal and nothing about them really gets on our nerves. We want to spend as much time as possible with them and we know that we're in for the long haul no matter what happens. But over time, unless we really put effort into forming daily habits to keep the love alive, we can both start to get lazy. We can start taking each other for granted, and slowly we start to get selfish, caring about our own needs and wants ahead of our husbands.

One thing we started doing every day to make it a habit, is to tell each other 1 thing we were grateful for about them that day. It could be anything, from being grateful that he thought of me during the day by calling, or that he cooked dinner for us. What this habit does is takes us outside of ourselves and helps us to appreciate each other, and it also signals to the other person what we like so that they think of doing it more often. People respond to compliments rather than criticism. So the more you show gratitude, the more positivity is built into the relationship, and the more your husband (and you) will want to give.

At the end of the day it's all about what we put into the relationship - and if we are committed to making small sacrifices for each other every single day, we can be sure of a life-long happy marriage

I've been married 33 years, and here are my good thoughts: There is something priceless about going through life with someone who is your best friend. All the ups and downs of life add up to many memories that you share with your spouse. A good partner helps you become a better version of yourself over the long haul, as they can discuss things with you that help you think more deeply, and live more thoughtfully.

I’m right there with you, sis! I posted this about a month ago but was slightly disappointed with the feedback. I am ridiculously excited to live every day, good and bad, with the man I love! I feel that our relationship is very realistic, respectful, and forgiving, and I know beyond a doubt that marrying FH will be the best choice I’ve ever made!! I’m so glad you feel the same!

View Quoted Comment I'm so relieved I'm not the only one! I'm not rethinking marrying him, I'm just worried marriage will ruin great things. I still cannot wait to marry him and no matter what I can't wait to be by his side through thick and thin

View Quoted Comment Thank you so so much for this. This gives me a lot of confidence and it makes me excited. It really reaffirms my want for a marriage.

View Quoted Comment This is awesome advice. Thank you so so much for sharing. Such a great idea to say what you're grateful for daily. What class was it that you took, and would you recommend that pretty highly?