7 Things Not to Do If You're in the Wedding Party

Photo: Patrick Nied Photography

Being asked to be in a wedding party is a great honor that shouldn’t be taken lightly. The bride or groom clearly sees you as an important person if their life if they want you standing beside them when they say their vows.


Steal the spotlight
Remember that this isn’t your wedding, therefore it’s not about you. If the wedding party outfit doesn’t flatter you in the best way possible, keep those feelings to yourself. You may be asked for your opinion about certain things but at the end of the day the bride and groom get to make the final call and as any good friend should, your job is to support them (even if you don’t agree). If you haven’t already, you’ll have your chance one day to call the shots, but for now, don’t be a backseat driver. Just enjoy the ride.

Be critical
Not a fan of flower crowns or mason jars? Are they everywhere at the wedding you’re in? It’s important not to critique the wedding just because it may not be your style, especially not with other wedding party members. You and the engaged couple probably have different tastes when it comes to food, music, and decor, so try to focus on the important parts of the day like their vows or first dance. Remind yourself what really matters before you slip up and insult the hard work the couple put into their big day.

Appear stand-offish
Think of the other wedding party members as your new #squad. Be as inclusive as possible, even if you don’t know them very well. Start a text chain or email thread to get to know them before the wedding. Who knows—you may make a new friend or get yourself a date for next Saturday night!

Complain about money
Yes, being in a wedding party means forking over a little extra cash than planned, so you might need to adjust your budget accordingly. The best way to solve this problem? Be upfront with the wedding party right away that you’re on a tight budget so you can work together as a team to come up with affordable options. Complaining about it rather than doing something about it will just put unnecessary pressure on the bride or groom. If it’s really a major issue, talk to them about it! Having a mature discussion will likely have a better outcome than whining behind their back.

Get too drunk
It’s time to celebrate! But don’t overdo it. This especially goes for the rehearsal dinner because no bride or groom is going to want to deal with a hungover wedding party on the morning of their wedding. If there’s an open bar at the wedding, try to keep yourself in control then as well. There will likely be family members and friends there who you haven’t met yet and you don’t want to be known as that guy or gal by the couple’s extended family.

Leave early
Stay until the bitter end! While your hotel bed and room service sound like heaven, it’s important to get back out on the dance floor and support the newlyweds!

Forget to offer to help
You’re in the wedding party for a reason, so why not lend a helping hand? Whether it’s helping with last-minute seating changes or organizing place cards, there’s always something you can do to help! Find out what it is and help make the couple’s life a little bit less stressful during planning.