How to Deal With Negative Comments on Your Engagement

With a big engagement announcement comes well-meaning comments from loved ones and strangers alike. And while the majority of well-wishers have nothing but positive wedding proposal reactions to your happy news, you can always count on a few backhanded remarks that might catch you by surprise.

If you find yourself struggling to deal with some wedding proposal reactions that are less than ideal, take heart that you’re not alone. We’re walking you through how to handle the situation with tact and grace, while not allowing anyone’s careless words to rain on your parade.

The Comment: What’s the rush?

How to Respond: Some people believe there is a “right” amount of time to date before engagement and aren’t afraid to vocalize it. Outside of your closest inner circle, remarks about rushing into engagement can be highly inappropriate and suddenly make you feel insecure in your decision. If you encounter a commenter expressing this sentiment, shut down the negativity with a response that lets them know the decision isn’t open for debate. Try something like, “we’ve thoughtfully discussed the timeline together and know an engagement is the right next step for us.” This politely communicates that the proposal wasn’t on a careless whim, no matter how rushed they feel it's been.

The Comment: That's such a simple ring.

How to Respond: Once you’ve revealed the proposal news, expect to be asked to show off your new ring a lot. Of course, most people will ooh and ahh over your gorgeous new bling, but you might run into someone who points out the size or style in a subtly offensive way. A comment like this can be understandably hurtful but don’t let their remark get the best of you. Instead, reply by emphasizing how much you love it and couldn’t imagine a more perfect ring. There’s no shame in gushing about your spouse-to-be's good taste, especially when a rude commenter tries to make you feel otherwise.

The Comment: I’ll be waiting on my invite.

How to Respond: Coming from a colleague or distant acquaintance, this wedding proposal reaction can be a particularly awkward one to maneuver when you’re not prepared to respond. If the commenter isn’t someone you want to include on the guest list, don’t feel pressured to promise an invitation to the big day. Carefully side-step the remark with something like, “Oh gosh, we haven’t even thought about the wedding size at this point.” This lets them know you might decide to keep your guest list small and doesn’t put you in an uncomfortable position to backtrack your words further down the line.

The Comment: What took so long?

How to Respond: Equally off-putting to “what’s the rush?” comments are remarks about why the engagement took so long to happen. This wedding proposal reaction might not be offensive when it’s coming from your well-meaning grandpa or dearest friend, but once you’ve heard it from one too many acquaintances it might begin to feel downright hurtful. If you’re ready to put the kibosh on this reaction, simply explain why you’re happy the timing worked out this particular way. For example, “I’m so happy we decided to wait until I finished grad school and felt settled in my new job. This was just the right timing for us.“ Or, “we had so much fun dating and I’m glad we had the time to truly enjoy it.”

The Comment: Wedding planning is the worst.

How to Respond: Everyone has a unique perspective on the wedding planning process and you’ll likely get some unsolicited advice right from the get-go. You might hear wedding proposal reactions about how stressful, expensive, or time-consuming wedding planning can be, which can quickly dampen the excitement when you’re still on cloud nine. Rather than let their words bring you down, take cues from Taylor Swift and shake it off with a lighthearted approach. Something simple like, “we’re up for the challenge!” or “we’re planning to hire great vendors and have a lot of fun with it” will kindly put any Negative Nancy in their place.